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Saturday, January 25, 2014

lost it a bit today

I lost it a bit today, I am trying to be calm and not yell... but today was just one of those days...  I'll start at the beginning which was actually yesterday.

Yesterday was my birthday... the first birthday I have has that I wasn't able to wish my dad a happy birthday or have him wish me one back...
This is how it started... 5am the phone rang... it was the school districts automated messaging system letting us know that school had been canceled because of the weather... Yes in Texas we get weather days for icy roads.   so my day began with Kenn running in and waking the boys up then telling them to go back to bed cause they didn't have school.....could have been worse I know and it was actually kind of funny.  Then Kenn went to work and I began the day.  I honestly did not get much house work done (as I rarely do when they are all here...) I spent most of the day on Facebook...  I made a post on my dad's wall... yes I know he wouldn't have gotten it if he were alive probably as he didn't really use it, but I did it as a remembrance. Mom called about 9:30 to wish me a happy birthday. (we didn't talk about dad).  I spent most of the day making gumbo for dinner.

All in all the kids behaved well, and were laughing and having fun... No big deal, until about 4 or 5  when the noise level drove me into hiding... they were laughing ( the kind of laughs that are almost screams) and playing with loud toys...and I just started to go into sensory overload... and that is never a good thing.  So I hid in my room for a while, Kenn came home from work and we ate and went to bed... 

Today Kenn had things he needed to do this morning and afternoon, so I was left with the kids for several hours again.  Sometime this morning A had gotten into my make up which was in my purse.  Now I had just bought most of what he got into on the 11th, the lipstick was a couple of weeks older...  He took the mascara and took the wand and dug out the lipstick,poured the foundation into a bowl...  the eyeshadow he had already messed up a few days before.... I yelled and threw a fit when I saw what he had done...   but I know I really have no one to blame for it than myself... (at least I am a cheap skate and didn't spend more than 15 total on all of it...I had an HEB coupon for $4 off make up purchase, so I pretty much replaced whet he had messed up for under $10, plus got some lotion and body spray:)  ) 

It is almost 10:30 pm and I am the only one still awake.  They all look so peaceful when they are asleep.  I just have to take a deep breath and know that they aren't the enemy... not even close and they deserve me to continue to strive to be better than I was today... One day at a time, one moment at a time.