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Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Tomorrow is new years eve

There are so many things I am hoping for in the year to come....

peace to be a better mom to my boys
joy in everyday life
hope for good business in the year to come
health for me and my family

I am ready for the boys to be back in school.  I get overwhelmed a lot when they are home.  I have so many things I hope to accomplish in 2015...  mainly things I have not been successful for this year.

getting and keeping the house in order
getting the repairs done on the house (at the very least the house leveled and the roof done)
setting up a garden
losing weight
gaining muscle
getting my mental health in check
keeping up with the business records (for RNA and my Avon)

Things I need to do the first week the boys are back in school
call and make me an appointment with new dr
call and get the boys dr appointments made for their annual physicals
call and check the date of the dental appointment for the boys
possibly make Kenn an appointment with his dr as well...
post a give away for monitors and clothes, and toys...after three days donate clothes and toys....

I'm going to be doing a lot of  cleaning and organizing this year.

This is going to be our year I just feel it :)

Friday, December 26, 2014

My year in review

This year was full of ups and downs, as most years are :) ...  As I look back on some of the struggles and blessings, I know, as always God is in control.  Even when things seem pretty bleak, and I just don't see how they can get better ... they do.

Kenn's business did very well this year (we have done over 1900 runs, and last year it was just over 1500 I believe) We are having vehicle problems... and are working to get those sorted out in the coming months.  We recently bought (are still buying) a Ford Expedition from a neighbor.  I dropped T and A off at school 3 days after we got it and was headed to pick our friend that helps us with runs up.  I was half way there when the tire blew (back passenger tire)  so I try to slowly pull off the road (like you are suppose to)  I pull off and get into the grass (very busy morning traffic wanted to get as far off the road as I could) as soon as I go to stop the car it starts spinning out of control.  I hit several metal bars holding wires that separate the two sides of the highway, but I thank God for those wires as when the truck stopped spinning I was about 3 feet from the other side of traffic.  And facing the opposite direction than I had started at.  The first thing I did after it stopped spinning, put it in park, turn it off, and threw the keys in the passenger seat.  Then I Voxed (a walkie talkie app that we have on our phones for business use) Kenn "Well I think we are back down to one vehicle again..."  He called me and I told him what happened.  A sheriff's deputy was just a couple cars behind me when it happened, and he stayed to do the report (cause the city police were taking a while)  Kenn got to me as fast as he could.  I was not hurt at all, the airbags didn't even pop...  very grateful for Ford tough vehicles. 

 I was very distraught... mainly because we were (are) still paying for the car, had only had it 3 days, and I have been the "death" of way too many of our vehicles... But both the sheriff's deputy and Kenn assured me that I did everything just they way I should have, and that it was not my fault.   It took a while before the tow truck got to us (early morning traffic being what it is in a big city)  when they finally got there Kenn let the deputy know that he was going to go ahead and take me, and go get money for the tow truck, so we could meet it back at the house.  

I just knew the truck was a total loss... when the tow truck finally got to the house (a different one than had first gotten there (it took a couple of hours for them to get it to us)  The driver was able to turn the engine on, and drive it (as well as you can with two flat tires) off the tow truck (apparently the first driver had broken his tow chain or something like that)  so the fact that not only did it start, but the wheels moved are good signs.  It needs ALOT of work but isn't a complete loss (needs both tires on passenger side replaced, both the headlight and tail light on passenger side, lots of body work (mostly passenger, but there is a gouge on the driver's side from the initial hit ....  the muffler and exhaust pipe will need to be replaced as the tail pipe is bent up under the back wheel.  and the very back passenger window will need to be replaced.  But I am fine, and the truck still runs... so when we can get it fixed we'll have two working vehicles again  (most expensive thing from the looks of it will be the tires (but we were wanting to change them out anyway))

Now I was feeling very down when I walked to the bus stop for T and A that afternoon...I sat on the ground feeling sorry for myself, and I saw a penny heads up so I picked it up and smiled when I saw the year on it 1961 (year my parents graduated HS, and the year they got married)  After my dad died I had told T that pennies on the ground were a reminder that my dad was up there looking after us... and finding that penny with that year on it pretty much validated that thought for me :)  
Anyway my hopes for the coming year is to be able to continue to grow the business once the second vehicle gets fixed and I can start running again.  I just started selling Avon, so I am hoping that I can start contributing more to the house hold, or at least have enough income that I can pay the monthly insurance premiums... and have some left over to pamper myself a little.  Got lots of hopes for R(starting with getting him to actually do his school work).... Probably going to be sending him to an out of district HS though next year.  

I want to make enough that I can get my teeth fixed by Thanksgiving 15..
I want to spend at least 30 minutes a day cleaning and decluttering.
I will spend at least 30 minutes a day exercising (1st with the bike around this area, and then once the car is fixed start going to planet fitness)
I will spend 15 minutes a day reading the Bible.(hope to have it finished buy the End of 15)
I want to be able to get the repairs that really need to be done on this house done
I will work on my mental health by making a dr appointment for myself as soon as the second vehicle is running again
I will encourage Kenn to take the time and start seeing a dr as well
I will get Odie fixed as soon as the pups are weened
I will write one blog entry a month
I will promote the Avon business and tell at least 1 new person a day about it (dropping off catalogs at neighbor's houses, leaving brochures at dr offices if they will let me)  putting up signage in the front office if I can  ect.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Confessions of a Texas girl

yeah if your hoping for some racy little tidbit not going to get it here :)

My confessions are I've over ate a couple times this past week...mindless eating because I was bored.  I did not turn to God, or clean my house when I felt this way.  And I'm cold... well probably won't be too much today, but yesterday and the day before I didn't want to do anything cause I was so very cold. Now I know I'm in Texas... but I don't deal well with the winter weather.  especially when the house is 65 in the warmest area...

I am in sensory overload already and it is just 7am.  My 6 year old wants my phone to play bad piggies on, the house is a wreck (see above confession).  Kenn just left to pick up some work.  the 2 year old is screaming... 12 year old asleep (or pretending to be so)  I feel mentally, physically and emotionally drained.  So I am fixing to do my 15 minutes of Bible reading with my head phones on listening to Air1, then I will do my 4 challenges (day 13... haven't missed a day yet though I was tempted) take a bath and start cleaning.  going to give myself 2 hours to accomplish it in (do able but will be close...  but if I don't my stress level will just keep going up... been having stress pains in my shoulder and I DON'T LIKE IT!!!!!time to buckle down and get things done.  Praying a peaceful day here (more than it is starting out as)

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Delighting in Obedience

OH boy... that word... the word that sometimes makes people cringe... OBEDIENCE... Something that most people struggle with.  Funny but true story first then I will get into the meat of this topic.  When Kenn and I were dating (we argue about where this takes place I say it happened at my parents house he says his aunts townhouse... but seeing as it is me telling this I will go with my parents house :)  )  It was a Sunday evening and we were watching America's Funniest Home Videos with my parents.  (this was in the mid 90's) They were showing wedding clips, and in one of them the minister came to love, honor and obey and the bride said "I'm not saying that word no way!"  I looked at Kenn and said something like "yeah I'm not going to say obey either"  He said "that's ok you don't have to"  then a few minutes later he asked "Hey, Andi, could you go get me a coke ?"  So not thinking about it I got up went outside got the coke brought it in, looked at the coke, then looked at him sitting there with the cat ate the canary look on his face and it dawned on me just as he said "  No... you don't have to say obey "  He is lucky I didn't throw the can at him :)

Anyway obedience...  not only obedience but delighting in it... that sounds impossible doesn't it.  I know it is a struggle to get the boys to obey a lot (our oldest was even diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder last summer.)  Hardened hearts are all around... I want to do what I want, when I want, how I want and the consequences be damned is how many people live maybe not about everything but about a lot of things.  I'm guilty of this myself from time to time (yesterday is a GLARING example right now)  obedience isn't what everyone thinks of... it isn't being a slave to someone else.  it isn't being a dog waiting for a command... it is realizing that there is a reason that we must wait... and not waiting could have bad results.

As children we are to obey our parents.  We learned pretty quick if we didn't do what we were told there were consequences, rather corporal or material the consequences of not doing what we were told to do were not fun.  As a child I got spanked, I got put in the corner, I was grounded, and had things I liked or wanted to do taken away from me for various acts of disobedience.  Part of having Free will allows us to choose to be obedient or not.  But choosing to be obedient can be rewarding, it can have as many rewards and perks as disobedience has punishments and negative consequences.  Still speaking from the child's point of view... if you obey (lets say doing your chores) you may earn an allowance, get to do something you've been wanting to do, maybe even get a gift that you had been wanting.  Not to mention that in keeping your room clean you would also know where that toy (piece of clothing, book) was that you wanted to play with rather than having to totally tear up your room looking for it, and have some healthy amount of pride for a job well done.

As we grow up we learn more and more lessons on being obedient...Most teens learn to obey the rules of the road, so that they won't have their parents take away their driving privileges (not me... didn't start driving on my own until I was 24 and married). We learn more about becoming responsible for the things we do and don't do.  We get jobs, and start making money and learn that in order to keep the job we have to do what we are told to do by our boss (we learn to OBEY our boss).  Then there is the tough choices... the dating... learning to obey God and not our bodies... (I'm forgiven for the choices I made and you are as well, I wish some choices I had made differently, but I would not be who I am today if I had)... the bills and play ... I want to go to the movie, but this bill is due...

When we get married we are suppose to obey our husbands... most modern women balk at this idea.  I know that I have not been as faithful in obedience to anyone as I should.  in April of 1993 I went on a women's retreat with the BSU of Lamar university.  One of the ladies on the retreat told the story of the first time she met her husband the thought "This is the man you are going to marry!" hit her out of no where.  (they met at someone's wedding) well she didn't give it much thought other than to deny it because he was not her type... they started corresponding a few months later, started dating, and eventually got married.  The following Monday I was walking to class and there were two guys I knew from the Wesley foundation walking in front of me.  My eyes locked on to the back of one of them.  "THIS IS THE MAN YOU ARE GOING TO MARRY!!!"  I stopped dead in my tracks.  NO WAY... power of suggestion... not my type at all.  shook my head and kept on to class.  That guy would occasionally ask me to lunch (which I never thought I was much to look at and the only guy I dated in high school I had to chase and practically beg to ask me out) I never really took it seriously.  He asked a mutual friend for my number I told her not to give it to him and to tell him something like my parent's don't let me give my number out.... she just told him I said no.  That summer his dad died (I remember seeing the obit in the paper and saying a little prayer for his family).  Towards the end of the summer, after drinking too much at a party at a friends house I almost let a guy that I really thought I liked a lot go a lot farther than I should... my no's were starting to get very weak when his sister saved the day by coming to look for us.  When classes started back in the fall I decided I was going to stop worrying so much about not having a guy in my life and concentrate on my studies.  One day at work THE guy came in and I pointed him out to one of my friends that I worked with... "that's the guy that keeps asking me out!"  she was like "Why don't you say yes... what is the worst that could happen?"  So I decided on that day that next time he asked I would say yes... well he didn't ask again.  One day I was sitting in the Wesley and talking to a friend about the Glamour shot pictures I had taken the year before...  He over heard us and said something about wanting one :)  so the next day I knew I would see him was a Tuesday.  I had one of each pose (4 pictures) with my full name and phone number written on the back and handed them to him... needless to say he was a bit confused... probably even more so when at lunch that day I sat next to him and leaned back while listening to the speaker... but when he put his arms around me... I knew right then and there that the words I had heard 6 months to the day before were true.

I don't feel that being obedient to my husband is a chore (most of the time anyway),  if he asks for something it just seems natural to do it.

Being obedient to God is what this topic is really over though, and I am getting better at that some days are easier than others.  Yesterday however I was disobedient and listened to the part of me that wanted to eat when I was not hungry.  I ate 4 egg rolls and 2 or 3 servings of fried rice that I had made the night before.  (they were fairly healthy, but I was willfully disobedient in eating more than two of them because I was no longer hungry...)  As a consequence I felt ill and bloated but could not throw up.

God wants us to have our hearts desires (after all it was HIM who put them there).  All He asks is that we turn to HIM and give HIM our obedience, our time, our struggles, our pains, our triumphs, our victories, our needs... spend time with HIM in prayer, and in reading HIS word.  He gives us nudges from time to time to let us know what HIS will is, which direction HE wants us to go... and by spending more time with HIM we can better learn to respond to these nudges, and hear these nudges more clearly.  I will stop my cycle of willful disobedience now for today I will be obedient in the truths I know, and listen harder for those God nudges to lead me in the path to obedience. and I will do so with a song on my lips and in my heart, I will do so with delight, looking forward to the rewards that are to come if I am obedient.

 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33


Monday, February 3, 2014

on ward I go

Well the scale says 198.8 this morning.  I don't feel deprived at all (as I feared I would when I started eating less and watching my calories)  I've also been reading the Bible 15 minutes everyday, and getting at least 10 or 15 minutes of exercise... I'm on day 8 of 4 different "challenges"  where each day the reps get higher... the second and third day and a little bit of the fourth I really wanted to give up and stop... but you know what there isn't any more pain from the exercises... so might as well keep going.  they are getting easier to do (even though there are more to do each day :)  )each challenge is only 30 days though so once they are done I will consider what to work on next :)  hope to be down to 190 if not lower by my dr appointment next month.  But you want to know something... the number on the scale is just that... a number.  Something I learned a long time ago is that it is how I see myself that is more important than those numbers... When I was 123 and no one believed I weighed that much (thought I weighed less) while I didn't see myself as fat I definitely didn't think I was as thin as I was...While I don't really care to be that thin again (as I was skeletal looking at that weight)  I would like to be at 150 in the next year, and be able to maintain that weight. That is my ultimate goal... and at this rate it is very likely to occur, just got to keep the momentum up and giving the credit to God.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Start of a better me


This is the word of the week in the Made to Crave online Bible study this week.   What it means to me is that I am going to work through the pain of beginning to exercise and keep going.  I am going to continue to make note of everything I put into my mouth... and try to keep everything that comes out pleasant...(not an easy task most days).  I am determined to finally read the Bible through... 15 minutes a day I am devoting to this endeavor.  Getting the house clean and getting rid of the bugs is another BIG priority that I want to see happen.
Determination=WANT TO+FOLLOW THRU.   I want to accomplish something and am willing to follow thru to the end to accomplish that goal.  Determination is planning and doing.  it is getting off my posterior and accomplishing things that need to be done.

I have a few long term goals that I am working towards.
The first one is to be able to invite some good friends over for coffee on November 14, 2014... In order to be able to feel that I have accomplished that I need to continue with my cleaning everyday, in a few months contact an exterminator to get an estimate on  getting rid of our bug problem, do minor repairs and painting in main rooms (living, dinning, kitchen, bath)  tackle major repairs such as getting the trailer leveled and getting the roof repaired (and figuring out why the front bathroom won't flush)... maybe just maybe get some new furniture for dinning room and living room.  it can be accomplished with in the time frame I have set I believe.  And with God's help the finances will be available to allow it to occur.
2nd goal In Two years I want to be able to invite my family here for at least one holiday...  This one takes a lot more determination than the first simply because it requires me to become the house keeper I want to be... nothing out of place and everything having a place... this one also requires more $ which is why I have given 2 years for this goal.  It requires a continual deep cleaning of the house, new furniture in all the rooms, major repairs to some parts of the house (new counters and cabinets in the kitchen possible rewiring of the house...)  but in this too I am determined to see accomplished... oh and having my family here means they will mostly be staying over night.  By this time I will have at least 10 nieces and nephews plus my mom, sister and her husband, and both brothers and their wives... the nearest sibling lives 143 miles away.  so to say I will have a full house is an understatement :)
and my last goal is for 3 years from now (well a little less than)it is to be able to fit back into my wedding dress for our 20 year anniversary.  To accomplish this goal I will have to lose at least 8 dress sizes.  how to I plan on doing this... by eating correct portions, including more fruits and vegetables into my diet, making less food for dinner so I don't feel obligated to eat more than I should.  Exercise daily.  and when my will power fades give it to God and spend time with Him to get past cravings and desires to hoover everything in the fridge.
I think my goals are all attainable... and reasonable to expect that I will be able to accomplish them.  No they are not goals I can just sit here on my fanny and expect to have them just happen I have to work for them, I have to be DETERMINED to accomplish them... Determined to work past obstacles that are thrown in my path... things like lack of funds to do a project the way I want it done... Determined to give myself, my family and my friends the best I can, while also giving God the credit and praise for helping me through the obstacles and getting past set backs and getting back on track.  Here is to DETERMINATION  let's get 'er done!!!! :)