ups and downs

Sometimes it sucks to be a grown up... There are things no one tells you about being a grown up.  I am not talking about the pain of child birth, or having to pay bills, or even about having to be responsible...  It has to do with our parents... I know that there are kids that have their parents die, and I know that no one lives forever (at least not here where we can physically see and touch them).  But there is a certain amount of sadness and fear when you realize that those people that held you when you were little and hurt, and the same ones that whooped your butt when you were bad won't always be here  No one talks about it.   No want wants to think that there will come a time... maybe hours, maybe years down the road when they just won't be here anymore... I guess if we think about those we love's mortality then we also must think of our own... and we aren't going anywhere anytime soon ... ARE we?  Started being concerned when my grandmother was the first to pass away (just months before my wedding),   then slowly my grandparents one by one died, my mother in law died... all this made me sad that my children would not have both sets of grandparents (even though I knew they would not have two complete sets to begin with), but grateful that I grew up with two sets of grandparents and the opportunity to meet two of my great grandmothers.  I had lost people in my life before this... my dad's brother died from cancer when I was almost 10, and before that my mother had a stillborn baby... but I was older now, and the deaths had more meaning...  I remember my oldest being born at 31 weeks and being so worried that I would lose him before I got a chance to know him.  I remember the devastating news that my second child had stopped growing at 9 weeks. (and being jealous of a girl who gave birth at 24 weeks and was at least given a few weeks with her daughter to hold and say goodbye to).  But the realization that my parents won't always be there for me when I need them hurts... gut wrenching hurt that tears you up inside.  To know that there are things your child will never get to do with their grandparent, and things that their grandparent will miss...

And then you get the call saying it isn't as bad as you've been told.... relief  but still we are mortal.  sigh.

Enjoy life... because "you're going to miss this... you're going to want this back"  as the words to the song go.  :)  think I am going to start making the most of my life now.  appreciating everyone more than I have.

day part two

Ok well most of the day is gone.  we straightened the living room dinning room before we went to the library.  We went to the library... Tommy got mad because I wouldn't let him play on the computers at the library... so he was not happy... "I want to play"  "Ok, well pick out a couple of books and then we will go outside and play on the play ground"  "I DON'T WANT TO PLAY ON THE PLAYGROUND!!!!" but finally got him to pick a few books  Robert got about 5.  we checked out and went to the playground... Tommy and Austin played a little, I did two rounds on the exercise equipment they have there (would have done more, but Austin was not interested in playing much and neither was Tommy.  I think when school starts I am going to make it a point of going there 3 times a week weather allowing and maybe by next summer I will feel more comfortable in a swim suit :)

Went to Walmart after the library... I would rather go to HEB but Walmart was closer.  I have decided that I am going to try some dishes... one of the blogs I follow puts up monthly menus for dinners she cooks with her family, and includes links to some recipes...  This month they all look pretty good to me (well except for beany weinnies... yuck. :) ) now if only I could find someone that  gives menus for breakfast lunch and dinner... so I wouldn't have to think about any of it... just make a grocery list and go to the store :)  My problem is we get stuck in ruts... and there are things that either don't get eaten here or is only eaten under duress.  I wish I had a deep freeze and could store up meat when it is on sale, or do make ahead meals and put them in the freezer for those days I just don't feel like cooking (or if there is someone that needs a meal)

more time has past since I started this... had to go to the bank and then finish getting groceries...cook dinner.  fixing to give Austin and Thomas bathes. and send them to bed... I have got to start getting them on a routine to get them ready for later this month... HAPPY DANCE!!!!!! :)

uggg just ugg

It seems like when things are going really well for us... that is when one or both vehicles start acting up.  Kenn is having transmission problems with the work truck... to the point of we may have to get a new transmission for it :/  With school fixing to start we need to get school supplies, and clothes.  not to mention the regular bills, and food.

The boys don't want to go to sleep at night... the light over the table has gone out.... so much to do around here that I have little time to sit here and type... need to get up and get it done and come back later and say what all it going on :)