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Thursday, January 23, 2014

A Raging Battle

my current battles are food, and selfishness...  I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it .  and my children suffer, my marriage suffers...  I think the food battle will actually be an easier battle than the selfishness... because I don't see myself as being selfish a lot of the time... but I spend way more time than I should online, and not enough time getting to know my kids...  I yell WAY more than I should... although it has been better the last couple of days.  Another thing I struggle with is asserting myself enough to get my needs met, instead of just being very passive and letting everyone else go first...  stuffing and stuffing until it all explodes and spews might as well say sewage (raw sewage at that!) all over everyone. 

My battle plan... eat less... not necessarily not eat things, but making a conscious effort to eat less of it.  I think I did a pretty good job of that today.  the selfishness, internet, and stuffing...First and foremost turn to God, and pray.  Take time for myself when I need it.  Spend less time online when everyone is here and awake.  And as for the stuffing... I need to start speaking up and letting people know when something they say hits me wrong...  I pray that God gives me the tools I need.I also am praying for strength to get though my birthday, and not spend the day crying in bed missing my dad....